Babban muhimmin bangare na kowane dangantaka shine amincewa da girmamawa ga mutum. Rashin waɗannan samfurori na iya haifar da fitowar abyssic dangantaka dangane da son kai, rashin fahimta da tashin hankali. Abu ne mai sauƙi don ƙayyade maciyi, kuma zama tare da shi zai iya zama mai wuyar gaske kuma har ma da haɗari.
Abuz - menene?
Kalmar "cin mutuncin zumunci" ya bayyana a cikin ilimin halin dan Adam kwanan nan, don haka akwai dalili game da irin irin dangantakar da mai cin amana wanda yake? Kalmar nan "abyuz" tana da tushen Ingilishi kuma an fassara shi azaman "mummunan magani", "tashin hankali", "lalata". Abuzer shine mutumin da yayi izgili na rabi na biyu, yana fusatar da shi, ya hana ko ya ƙi son zuciyarsa, ba'a, ya jagoranci wasu ayyukan ko ya nuna masa lalacewar jiki.
A cikin mummunan dangantaka, mutum na biyu zai yi aiki kamar wanda aka azabtar da shi ba shi da 'yancin yin zabe kuma lokaci-lokaci ko matsalolin tsarin jin dadin jiki ko ta jiki daga abokin tarayya. Dangane da halaye na halayyar mutum, wanda aka azabtar zai iya jure wa dangi na dan lokaci na dogon lokaci, yana sa mai tuhuma ya aikata ayyukan ta'addanci da tashin hankali.
Abuz yana da irin wadannan nau'ikan:
- Abubuwan da suka shafi tunanin mutum - ɓoye ko kuma kai tsaye a kan abokin tarayya na shirin na tunani;
- cin zarafin jiki - tashin hankali na mutum;
- cin zarafi - tilasta wa matar ta zama zumunci ta jiki ba tare da son sha'awar jiki ba;
- cin zarafin tattalin arziki - abokin tarayya yana da cikakkiyar dogara ta hanyar kula da albarkatun kuɗi.
Abuse na Musamman
Idan akai la'akari da abin da ke tattare da ilimin halayyar kwakwalwa, masu bincike suna kula da abyss. Dalilin wannan ya ta'allaka ne akan gaskiyar cewa wannan shine mafi yawan al'amuran tashin hankali a cikin dangantaka. An nuna mummunan zalunci a cikin barazana, wulakanci, cin mutuncin mutum . Abokin yana wahayi zuwa gare shi cewa ba shi da amfani, ba shi da sha'awa, wawa, bashi da wani abu. Wannan hali yana haifar da raguwa a cikin girman kai na abokin tarayya, bayyanar halin da ake ciki da tawayar, rashin yarda da sadarwa tare da wasu mutane.
Shahararren dan Adam na abyuz yana da nau'o'i biyu:
- Bude abyuz . Abuzer ya nuna halin da ya saba da shi game da tauraron dan adam a cikin hanyar budewa a gaban sauran mutane. Yana iya bayyana cewa abokin tarayya yana da wauta kuma mara amfani, yana da mummunan halayyar hali da kuma mummunan halaye.
- Abyuz boye . Abuzer yana da tausayi sosai ga abokin tarayya a cikin jama'a, amma mummunan cikin sirri. Ya ci gaba da yin ikirarin abokin tarayya, ya nuna rashin jin daɗin game da halinsa, yana nuna rashin kuskure, yana magana da kalmomi masu banƙyama, ƙasƙanci.
Halin jima'i
Don cikakkiyar ma'anar abin da Abuse yake, yana da wuya a sami karin maganganu fiye da rikici. Ƙunƙwasa a kan abokin tarayya zai iya bayyana kansa a duk wurare, amma cin zarafin jima'i shine mafi yawan cututtuka ga psyche. Wannan bangare na dangantakar dan Adam yana bukatar kyakkyawar dadi da fahimta. Mai yin fassarar ba ya so ya kula da bukatun da yanayin abokin tarayya, ya gane shi a matsayin abu mai gamsar da sha'awar jima'i.
A cikin 90% na lokuta, namiji ne mai cin zarafi. Ya tabbatar da halayensa ta hanyar cewa mace dole ne ta cika aikinta na aure. Tare da cin zarafi, mace tana fuskantar irin wannan sakamakon kamar fyade. Irin wannan tashin hankali na iya wucewa har tsawon shekaru, sakamakon abin da mace zata iya kasancewa a cikin rikice-rikice na hankali, ya nuna rashin jin dadi ga rayuwa, rashin tausin zuciya da zalunci.
Abuse a dangantaka - alamu
Abuse shi ne tashin hankali, saboda haka yana da sauƙin koya irin wannan dangantaka. A cikin zumunci, wasu hanyoyi da dama za a iya amfani dasu, dalilin da ya sa shine ya wulakanci mutum kuma ya lalata hali na abokin tarayya. M dangantaka yana da irin wannan halaye:
- Kishi . Abokan yana kokarin kula da sadarwar matarsa, musamman ma idan yazo ta sadarwa tare da mutumin da ba jima'i ba.
- Tambayoyi . Abokin tarayya yana buƙatar rahotanni akai-akai game da abin da matar ta yi, inda yake da lokacin.
- Kusa . Abrasions abysions na masu fashi don kowane dalili zai iya kawo abokin tarayya zuwa tunanin tunani, tashin hankali ko rashin tausayi.
- Haraji . A cikin mummunan dangantaka, abokin tarayya yana da laifi duk matsalolin ko mai laifi cewa mai yin zalunci ya yi kuskure.
- Mai tausayi . Abokan cin zarafi a kowane lokaci, kuma mataki na sulhuntawa yana jiran wani abokin tarayya.
- Lability na yanayi . Halin wanda ke yin fassarar zai iya canzawa saboda kowane dalili, sau da yawa a cikin jagorancin mummunan da mummunan aiki. Bayan fashewar motsin zuciyarmu, sai ya kwantar da hanzari, yayin da abokin tarayya zai iya rabu da mummunan haɗari ko ta jiki.
Abuzer maza alamun
A cikin kashi 90% na shari'ar, masu cin zarafin maza ne. Wannan shi ne saboda muhimmancin rawar da maza suka yi a cikin ƙarni da dama kuma tare da kasancewar babban nau'in hormone mai cin hanci wanda ke da alhakin zalunci. Ana iya gane irin wannan alamar Abuzera-mutum:
- yana da bukatun daban-daban don kansa da kuma abokinsa: abin da bai yarda da mace ba, ya ɗauki halatta ga kansa;
- yayin rikici yana amfani da ƙarar murya, kuka;
- ya nuna girmansa na jiki, yana barazana da tashin hankali na jiki;
- bar shi kadai a wurin da ba a sani ba;
- zargin abokin tarayya na karya, ya nuna babu amincewa da kalmominta;
- kula da tattaunawar tarho ta abokin tarayya, duba saƙonni;
- Abyuzer-man yayi kishi ga kowane mutumin da abokin tarayya yake sadarwa. Kyakkyawan sadarwa, mafi kishi.
Abuzer-mace - alamu.
A cikin mummunan dangantaka, tasiri mummunan iya takawa mace. Tun da yake ta fi raunin mutum fiye da mutum, mace mai cin mutunci tana amfani da wasu hanyoyi don wulakanta da kuma zalunci abokin tarayya. A cikin arsenal akwai wasu hanyoyi:
- ƙin ƙiyayya ta jiki, yin izgili da abokiyar haɗin gwiwa;
- An yi wa mata halayyar mata mummunan zalunci, kayan aiki, kayan kayan aiki, kayan ganima;
- yana kula da kowane mataki na matar, yana sarrafa shi a hanyar da dukan mutane da ke kewaye da shi suka san game da shi;
- kowace ganawa ta fara da tambayoyi inda kuma tare da wanda yake;
- ci gaba da rashin tausayi tare da halayyar matar;
- Tambaya ga iyawar abokin tarayya, ya soki mutum.
Me ya sa zama abyuzeryami?
Akwai dalilai da dama da ya sa mutum ya zama maciyi. Babban abubuwan sune:
- A cikin iyaye iyaye akwai aboki mara kyau;
- wanda aka yi fassarar ya kasance da jima'i ko kuma an yi masa azaba a lokacin yaro ko yaro;
- Ƙananan girman kai na abyuser, wanda ya yi ƙoƙari ya ƙara ƙaruwa ta hanyar wulakanta wani;
- ƙwayar tunani da cututtuka;
- fasali na hali: zanga-zanga, rikice-rikice, ikon mulkin mallaka, rashin iyawa don kare kansa, son kai.
Yaya za a nuna hali tare da mai yin fashi?
Abuse a cikin dangantaka - wannan shine dalilin da ya sa ya cancanci keta dangantaka da ƙoƙarin fara sabuwar rayuwa. Mutumin da ya zama mai yin fassarar ba zai iya canja halinsa ba tare da taimakon likita ba kuma ya dakatar da wulakanta abokinsa da nuna nuna fushi. Ƙarin abokin tarayya yana ƙoƙarin daidaitawa ga mai laifi kuma bai sa ya yi fushi ba, ƙarar maƙwabcin ya ci gaba. Wannan bambance-bambancen zumunta na iyali yana da wuya ga dukan 'yan uwa, don haka hanya mafi kyau daga cikin halin shi ne ya karya irin wannan dangantaka.
Yadda za a daina kasancewa mai fassarar?
Mutumin da ya zama mai fashe, yana da wahala a sarrafa kansa. Ya ɗauki yadda ya kamata a tilasta halinsa, ta hanyar rashin kuskuren abokin tarayya. Abu na farko da ya kamata a yi don dakatar da zama mai yin fashi shi ne gane matsalar. Halin jiki, jima'i, ko cin zarafi na motsa jiki yana da sakamako, abin da ya kamata ya tura wanda ya yi amfani da ita ga ra'ayin cewa yana aikata wani abu ba daidai ba. Ya kamata ya fahimci cewa ainihin dalili shine a kansa, kuma ba a cikin mutane masu kewaye ba.
Don kauce wa halayensu na yaudara, masana kimiyya sun bada shawarar cewa mahaukaci yayi tunanin irin waɗannan tambayoyin:
- Waɗanne yanayi ne ke haifar da mummunar amsawa?
- Menene ainihin dalilin wannan halayyar: ƙananan yara, rashin girman kansu, rikici na sirri, abubuwan da suka shafi mutum?
- Mene ne sakamakon halayyar zalunci?
- Ta yaya za ku yi bambanci da halin da ya faru?
Sakamakon Abuza
Abuz yana da wadannan sakamakon:
- cin zarafin interpersonal dangantaka ;
- damuwa da amincewa da zumunta tsakanin mutane;
- cin mutuncin mata bayan Abyuza gaskiya ne kuma yana da alaƙa da ƙin mace don ci gaba da kokarin yin wani abu da asarar sha'awa a rayuwa;
- rashin karuwar girman kai da kuma ci gaba da damuwa a cikin abokin tarayya wanda aka sha wahala;
- rage dangantaka da mafi ƙarancin ko cikakken hutu.
Littattafai game da abyuzers
Don ƙarin fahimtar batun batun tashin hankali, yana da daraja karanta irin wadannan littattafan game da abyuz:
- Aud Dalsegg "A ƙugiya. Yadda za a karya layin da ba shi da lafiya . " Littafin ya bayyana dalilin da yasa mutane ke shiga rikici da kuma yadda za su guje wa duk wani mummunar tasiri.
- Lundy Bancroft "Me yasa yake yin haka?" . A cikin wani tsari mai ban sha'awa, marubucin ya gaya mana cewa kada mutum yayi hakuri da halayen mawuyacin dangantaka kuma yayi ƙoƙarin daidaita da su.
- Nancy Price, James Grant "A gado tare da abokan gaba . " Wannan zane-zanen ya bayyana matsalar matsalar cin zarafi, wanda ainihin mutumin yake ƙoƙarin kawar da shi a kan mutuwar mutuwa.
Films game da abyuzeryov
Hotuna game da cin mutuncin dangantaka suna da ban sha'awa a cikin abin da suke nuna waɗannan dangantaka a kan misalai na rayuwa. Shahararrun fina-finai sune:
- "Sarki na . " Bayan da raunin da ya faru, halayen mutum yana tunanin yadda lafiyar ta da abokin tarayya yake.
- "Matar Stalin . " A cikin fim, an gina shi a kan abubuwan tarihi, an gaya mana game da abyuzere wanda ya sanya sha'awarsa a tsakiyar dangantakar.
- "Maɗaukaki" . A cikin fim din, a cikin wani labari mai ban dariya, an kwatanta mahaifiyar a game da babban jaririn, jinin da motsin zuciyarsa a bayansa, da kuma ƙoƙari ya fita daga halin rashin tausayi.